Wow… This blank sheet of paper has suddenly become much more daunting. Not that it's going to reach up and bite me, that would be weird. It’s a blog post... my first. How can this be? I just read there were 80 million distinct blogs out there. Everyone has a blog, certainly anyone who writes regularly, and it sometimes feels like I’ve read all of them. Ok, not actually all of them, but I’ve read a lot, and still follow quite a few. Done with the knowledge I was going to have my own at some point. I mean really, I don’t think you are allowed to be a writer without one. Who made that rule by the way? Hosting companies? People selling self-help for bloggers? I digress (I do that a lot). I was saying I’ve read a lot of them, looking for something to say, some topic that I could own. That topic, that special unmined ore, or unsqueezed fruit, that I could hammer my corner stakes around and over time, proudly declare, “It’s my island!”
Yeah, that island doesn’t exist. Not for me, and as far as I can tell, probably not for 79.95 million other bloggers out there. Doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy the hell out of some of them, but I think the ground has been covered, and then some, by people who have forgotten more about writing, self-publishing, marketing, promotion and so on, than I will ever know. So, what do I believe I have a patent on?
Pain, frustration, confusion, and a hopeless, giddy, optimistic free fall vertigo as I get ready to hit upload for the first time. This is my island… mine, all mine. What is that you say? “This is common? Natural even?” I spit on the floor and shake my head, “No, you don’t get it, my confusion it's… well it's pretty much complete at times. It’s YUUGE! You, sir, clearly don’t understand what I’m trying to get across to you – I DON’T HAVE A FREAKING CLUE WHAT I’M DOING. Seriously, ask anyone.
This is a state of being that I can honestly claim, and I know I’m not alone. I’ve spoken to enough other schizoid, gluttons of self-punishment out there (ahem...writers) to confirm this. Consider this an invite to share your pain, and the methods you use to bring it out. Do you willfully ignore advice from those who have gone before? CHECK! Do you secretly fear your friends and family have been being nice all those years of saying you should try writing? CHECK! Do you carry a sneaking suspicion that store bought jerky is really not meat at all but some sort of government plot? OK, that one is just mine… probably.
At any rate, I’m going to share my angst, and you are welcome to share yours, as well as your successes. Also, any good jerky recipes or recommendations for single malt, peaty only – please, or Rye whiskey, my favorite comeback story of all time.